Prioritizing Self-Care for Moms
Being a mom is a full-time job, but when you're a mom of a child with special needs, it can be even more demanding. Special needs moms often dedicate themselves tirelessly to the well-being of their children, sometimes forgetting to take care of themselves. However, self-care is not a luxury; it's a necessity for our survival!.
In this blog post, we're going to explore how to balance motherhood and wellness as a mom raising a child with special needs by making self-care a priority.
Setting Boundaries for 'Me-Time'
One of the most important aspects of self-care for special needs moms is setting boundaries for "me-time." It's easy to become overwhelmed when your life revolves around caring for a child with special needs, but neglecting your own needs will eventually lead to burnout. As someone who has been there, you won’t have to do this and I want to teach you how! Here's how to establish those crucial boundaries:
Schedule It: Just as you schedule doctor's appointments and therapy sessions for your child, schedule "me-time" into your calendar. Treat it as a non-negotiable commitment to yourself.
Communicate: Let your family and support system know when you need time for yourself. Be open and honest about your needs, so they can understand and help you when necessary.
Start Small: If the idea of taking an hour seems impossible, start with short breaks. Even 15-30 minutes of quiet time to read, meditate, take a relaxing bath or exercise can make a big difference.
Delegate Responsibilities: Don't hesitate to delegate tasks to family members, friends, or hired caregivers. You don't have to do everything yourself.
There was a moment about 2 years into my journey as Sam's mom, when I was burning the candle at both ends. Saying YES to everything and everyone. Over scheduling the therapies, and never asking for help because I wanted to appear that I could handle it all. But the reality was, I started dropping the ball on really important things like picking a kid up from school and my health was deteriorating… What I learned was asking for help and setting boundaries were a crucial part of my “Self care” as a special needs mom. This life we are living is a marathon, not a sprint. So why was I rushing all the time, trying to do EVERYTHING. I learned to asked for help (as hard as that was), I learned to let things go, and I also learned that this “job” wasn’t meant to be carried by just one person. By making these changes and establishing these boundaries, I began to find my rhythm of filling my cup regularly so that I could show up as the mom I wanted to, for all my kids.
Finding Quick Self-Care Routines
We often have very limited time to spare, so finding quick self-care routines that can be integrated into your daily life is essential. Here are a few ideas:
Deep Breathing Exercises: Take a few minutes each day for deep breathing exercises. This simple practice can reduce stress and increase your sense of calm.
Mindful Moments: Practice mindfulness by taking a moment to focus on your surroundings and sensations. Even a short mindful walk or a few minutes of mindful breathing can help you recharge.
Power Naps: If your child naps during the day, use that time to take a short power nap. Restorative sleep can do wonders for your energy levels. Especially if you are getting broken sleep at night.
Incorporate Hobbies: Find ways to engage in your hobbies, even if it's just for a short time each day. Whether you enjoy painting, reading, or knitting, these activities can be therapeutic and fulfilling.
I want to introduce to something I call “Tiny Joys”- Several years ago, when we were at the height of Sam’s medical journey and I was waking up to do meds and tube feedings, I was so sleep deprived, my other two kiddos were small and the days were so jam packed. I felt like I couldn’t come up for air. I was drowning and there wasn’t an end in sight. I knew I needed to start taking mini moments and find the “tiny joys” so I could survive these days. Whether it was hiding in my closet for 5 minutes to do some deep breathing, or taking a cat nap in my car when Pat got home from work-I soon realized how powerful these little moments were. Often we think of self care as spa days or a night away- I didn’t have time for that then, and most of us still don’t! BUT, I could do something small to help. Don’t discount these small (yet really powerful) little breaks that can really help recharge your soul!
Building a Support Network
You don't have to navigate the challenges of special needs parenting alone. Building a strong support network is vital for your well-being. This is hard for most to establish- but we are in this for the long haul, and we aren’t meant to carry this alone! So it's time to find your support system, mama!
Reach Out: Connect with other special needs moms through local support groups or online communities. Sharing experiences and advice can be incredibly comforting. This was so powerful for me during those early years when we never ever left the house to socialize.
Family and Friends: Lean on your loved ones for emotional support. Don't hesitate to ask for help when you need it, whether it's with childcare or just someone to talk to. I know not everyone has family nearby (or even willing to help for that matter)- but that doesn’t mean friends can’t help. Most people are willing- it’s just up to us to be vulnerable and ASK!
Professional Support: Consider seeking therapy or counseling for yourself. A mental health professional can provide valuable guidance and coping strategies. I have shared about this a lot- but finally seeing a therapist was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. If time is an issue, there are plenty of online options now too and I know insurance doesn’t cover this option- but consider saving up for it- and really figuring out how to make it work. I know it’s another investment in yourself- but one that will “pay you back” with how drastically it improves your life!
Respite Care: Explore respite care options that provide temporary relief by having a trained caregiver look after your child. This can give you the opportunity to recharge. I would ask your community, your church, and your social worker about this. I always say “ we don’t know what we don’t know, until we ask” So be brave and ASK!
I know these tips are easier said than done! This is coming from a mama who refused to hire a nurse for their child because I am a nurse by trade and “I can just do it all myself” well you know where that led me? Straight to burnout-city 😂So, learn from me, and don’t do what I did. Ask for help, be vulnerable and explore the options that are out there for you! I finally had to be brave and ask for help. I posted about needing help watching my son, and they would need to be a nurse or have medical training. And sure enough the most amazing woman replied to my post. She began helping us and became a lifeline for my husband and I during those hard years. She would come over when Sam was sick and just hold him so Pat and I could take a nap! I think about how we would have never had that help if I wasn’t brave enough to ask. So ask! Be brave!
Self-care is not selfish; it’s part of your survival as a special needs mom. By setting boundaries for "me-time," incorporating quick self-care routines into your daily life, and building a strong support network, you can better navigate the highs and lows of parenting a child with special needs while prioritizing your own wellness and happiness. Remember, taking care of yourself is not only a gift to yourself but also to your child. Start small, take that first step.
I am rooting for you!
~ Sara
Special Needs Mom Self-Care, Prioritizing Wellness for Moms, Setting 'Me-Time' Boundaries, Quick Self-Care Routines, Building Support Network, Coping with Special Needs Parenting, Mom's Mental Health, Emotional Support for Mothers, Respite Care for Special Needs, Self-Care Survival Tips
Comments