I’ll never forget one Christmas after Sam was born—I was so determined to make it “perfect” for my family after all we had been through that year that I barely enjoyed it myself. Between coordinating my son’s therapies, medical appointments, managing my husband’s packed work schedule, and making sure the other kids felt included, I ended up exhausted and resentful. That was the year I realized something had to change.
Now, I approach the holidays differently, and I want to share five strategies that help me trade overwhelm for joy.
1. Simplify Your Traditions
Sometimes, we hold onto traditions that no longer serve us simply because “we’ve always done it that way.”
Example: Instead of hosting an elaborate family dinner, we now do a casual potluck with paper plates. It’s less stress for everyone, and the memories are just as sweet.
Your Turn: Look at your holiday to-do list and ask, “What can I simplify or skip?”
There was a time I thought we (mostly me) had to do everything—decorate, bake, host parties. But as I started letting go of the pressure, I realized that the simplest moments (like playing a game with my kids) brought me the most joy!
2. Say “No” and Feel Good About It
As moms, we often feel obligated to say yes to everything. But the truth is, your time is valuable, and you don’t have to spread yourself thin. It’s OK to turn down invitations or activities that don’t align with your needs or values. I used to say yes to everything, especially during the holidays, because I didn’t want to let anyone down. But I’ve learned that saying no isn’t about rejection—it’s about saying yes to my capacity.
Script Idea: “Thank you for inviting us! We’re keeping things simple this year, so we’ll have to pass, but we hope you have a wonderful holiday.”
I remember saying no to a big family gathering the year Sam was born because I knew it would be too much for me and realistically I knew for the sake of his health we shouldn’t be in big groups. I felt guilty, but soon realized I needed that time to recharge and also I needed to let go of needing to please my family members and just do what was right for our family. Just remember, every time you say no to something that drains you, you’re saying yes to your peace.
3. Make Gratitude Your Anchor
During stressful moments, gratitude has been my lifeline. When the kids are bickering or the to-do list feels endless, I pause to remind myself of what’s going right. Gratitude can shift our mindset, especially when stress is piling up. It’s a tool I use to refocus on the good, even when things feel hard. This is something I am really wanting to instill in our kids as they are getting older!
Family Activity: Start a gratitude jar where everyone writes down one thing they’re thankful for each day. Read them together on Christmas Eve.
Finding gratitude moments helps me reframe my perspective and find peace, even in challenging moments.
4. Carve Out Quiet Moments
Holidays often feel like a whirlwind, but even 5 minutes of stillness can reset your mind.
My Favorite Ritual: Early mornings before the kids wake up, I sit by the Christmas tree with my coffee. The quiet and twinkling lights remind me to slow down and soak in the season.
The holidays are loud, busy, and filled with constant activity. But you don’t have to be in the thick of it all the time. Some of my best moments of peace come when I’m in my car, just sitting in stillness before the whirlwind of the day begins. It’s my little space of solitude.
5. Embrace Imperfection
This was a tough one for me as a recovering perfectionist. I used to believe every gift, event, and meal had to be flawless. Now, I focus on connection over perfection. Perfection doesn’t exist, especially not during the holidays. The more we try to make everything flawless, the more overwhelmed we become.
My Mantra: “Done is better than perfect.”
One year, I was so focused on making the holiday perfect that I lost sight of the true spirit of it. After that, I decided to embrace the mess, lower my expectations and focus on what truly matters—and it made the season so much more enjoyable.
The holidays don’t have to leave you frazzled and drained. With a few simple shifts, you can reclaim your peace and create a season that truly feels joyful.
If you’re ready to step into a life that feels lighter — not just during the holidays but every day— I’d love to have you join Her Wellness Collective. Together, we can make your wellness a priority, one small step at a time!
holiday overwhelm, reclaim peace, simplify traditions, holiday joy, gratitude practices, holiday self-care, stress-free holidays, embracing imperfection, mom wellness, holiday mindset
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