The holiday season can be a magical time, filled with festive decorations, delicious treats, and quality time with loved ones. However, for special needs moms, this time of year can also bring unique challenges. From sensory sensitivities to routine disruptions, it's important to be prepared and find ways to make the holidays and fall season enjoyable for your family. In this blog post, I'll explore some common pain points and offer tips to help special needs moms navigate this busy time of year.
Sensory Overload
Many children with special needs have sensory sensitivities, making bright lights, loud noises, and crowded spaces during the holidays and fall season overwhelming.
TIPS
Plan sensory-friendly activities: Seek out events that offer sensory-friendly hours, which often feature reduced lighting and noise levels, as well as smaller crowds. I didn’t know how common these were- but a simple google search resulted in some great ideas for the holidays!
Bring sensory aids: Have items like noise-canceling headphones, fidget toys, or comfort items on hand to help your child cope with sensory overload. We always bring something for Sam when we are out.
Create a quiet space: When attending events, find a quiet corner or designated sensory room where your child can take breaks as needed. Sam gets really overwhelmed with a lot of people in a small space- so we make sure he has a quiet space where he can get away from the noise.
Prepare in advance: Gradually introduce your child to holiday decorations and activities to help them acclimate to the sensory changes. We try to prepare Sam as much as possible for what is coming.
Communicate with event organizers: Reach out to event organizers or venues to inquire about accommodations and express your child's needs. I have found most people/events and venues are willing to accommodate our special requests, we just have to be brave and ASK!
Routine Disruption
Children with special needs often thrive on routines, and the holidays can disrupt their daily schedules. This can be difficult for all of us.
TIPS
Create a visual schedule: Use a visual schedule or social story to prepare your child for holiday events and changes in routine.
Maintain key routines: Keep essential routines, such as mealtimes and bedtime, as consistent as possible to provide a sense of stability.
Communicate with family and friends: Let your loved ones know about your child's routines, so they can be supportive during gatherings.
Plan downtime: Ensure that your child has time for relaxation and self-regulation during busy holiday periods
Transition aids: Use timers, visual cues, or transition warnings to help your child move from one activity to another smoothly.
Sam thrives on routine- so keeping his meal times the same, and nap time the same really works for us! Since he is our 3rd kiddo, he does need to be more flexible at times. We are aware and plan ahead when we know something would just not work for him and be OKAY with dividing and conquering or letting him stay with family.
Limited Accessibility
Some holiday activities and venues may not be accessible for children with physical disabilities which can really be hard.
TIPS
Research accessible venues: Look for venues and events that prioritize accessibility, such as wheelchair ramps, accessible restrooms, and sensory accommodations.
Advocate for accommodations: If an event lacks accessibility features, contact the organizers in advance and request accommodations or suggest alternatives.
Plan your visit: Scout the venue in advance or arrive early to assess accessibility and address any potential challenges.
Network with other families: Connect with other families in your area who have children with disabilities to exchange information about accessible events and venues.
Focus on inclusive activities: Seek out activities that are designed to be inclusive, such as adaptive sports or art classes.
Stigma and Misunderstanding
It is common during the holidays that families like ours may face judgment and misunderstanding from others during social gatherings. Here's some tips for navigating that.
TIPS
Educate others: Be proactive in educating friends and family members about your child's condition and needs.
Set boundaries: Politely but firmly communicate your boundaries and expectations when it comes to how your child should be treated.
Join support groups: Connect with local or online support groups for parents of special needs children, where you can share experiences and receive advice.
Choose your battles: Not every misunderstanding requires a response. Focus your energy on important conversations and relationships.
Build a strong support network: Surround yourself with understanding friends and family who can provide emotional support and advocacy.
I feel like I could write a novel on this one. When Sam was born and was so extremely immunocompromised, we missed out on so many family gatherings for years. I know it didn’t make sense to a lot of our family- but at the end of the day- it wasn’t up to me to make them understand. The ones that wanted to support us would, and the others wouldn’t. At the end of the day I had to do what was best for our family.
Balancing Caregiving with Celebrations
Special needs moms often provide extensive care for their children, making it challenging to find time for self-care and participate in holiday festivities. This time of year is extra stressful for moms like us. Here are some tips to help you remember to take care of you too this holiday season.
TIPS
Prioritize self-care: Recognize that taking care of yourself is essential to providing the best care for your child. Schedule in time for yourself, even if it is a brief- just make sure to make time for YOU.
Accept help: Don't be afraid to ask for and accept help from family and friends. Share caregiving responsibilities to create more time for yourself.
Plan ahead: Plan holiday activities and gatherings well in advance to ensure you have time to prepare and arrange support if needed.
Create a caregiving schedule: Coordinate with your partner or support network to create a caregiving schedule that allows both you and your child to enjoy the season.
Simplify celebrations: Focus on quality over quantity, choosing a few meaningful holiday traditions or activities that you and your child can enjoy together.
I cannot emphasize how important it is to have something to look forward to as a special needs mom. So often I get so overwhelmed with the day to day. On any given week- there is SO much going on. But I have to have SOMETHING to look forward to. It’s what helps me keep my head above water!
Just remember at the end of the day, it’s not about how much you do or how much you spend- kids really appreciate quality time and connection, and I know you are doing your best to provide that every day. I know this time of year can be such a big reminder of all the ways in which our lives are different. This time of year there can be lots of reminders of our child’s differences, feeling of isolation can be intensified and you could find yourself grieving again.
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I just wanted to say- it’s okay to feel those feelings. Our kiddos have a unique way to bring a fresh perspective into our lives. They are the ones who remind us that the simple things are what truly matters.
The days can be hard AND still be full of joy. And that’s ok.
It’s ok to cry in the toy aisle of Target, and then smile at your child’s look of amazement at all the Christmas lights and music.
Life can be messy, hard, joyful, happy, peaceful... all at the same exact time.
And that’s ok.
Special needs moms, Sensory overload, Routine disruption, Accessibility challenges, Stigma and misunderstanding, Balancing caregiving, Self-care for moms, Holiday season tips, Special needs parenting, Inclusive holiday activities
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