I have wanted to share this for a while. I know there are so many things we can say and that often are overlooked because it’s uncomfortable or maybe you don’t know what to say.. no judgement here... I used to be that person too! But since Sam, we have learned A LOT! I thought I would share 5 ways to get the conversation going in your home.
Encourage your kids to talk to them as they would any other kid
Instead of staring and avoiding, encourage them to ask them normal questions. What’s your name, how old are you, etc. Remember kids will take your lead so you might have to encourage them that it’s okay to ask questions! Questions are OK!
Point out similarities
For example, "Oh wow Noah, he has dinosaur shoes like you, how cool!" Talking about similarities will show your child that having a disability does not define a person, much like your child’s physical characteristics don’t define them.
It’s OK to notice differences
"I see you looking at that little girl in the wheelchair, and you might be wondering why she needs it. Some people’s muscles work a little differently, and her wheelchair helps her move around, just like your legs help you." By being open to talk about these differences you are normalizing that every one has differences and that is what makes us all unique!
Use respectful terminology
Your kids are sponges. If you use the words "retarded" or "cripple", so will they. Don’t use a disability as a way to describe an individual. For example, instead of saying "Downs baby," it’s better to say "a child with Down Syndrome"
Teach them empathy
Teach them to look for strengths instead of just focusing on weaknesses. It’s important for them to learn that just because someone can’t do something, or struggles in one area, it doesn’t mean he or she doesn’t excel in other areas. Ask your child how he would feel in somebody else’s shoes, and how he would want to be treated — and then teach him to treat others the same way.
I think the best way to have kids understand and show empathy is to expose them to kids with disabilities. I know not every school and community is as inclusive as we all would like, and so books are a great place to start! Showing them that different doesn’t mean less -- it’s just different!
We Are All "Different" in Some Way
We all find ways to adapt to our unique circumstances. Just as wearing glasses is a way to clear blurry vision, using a wheelchair is another way to get around if walking is a challenge. Approaching the concept of disabilities this way keeps the emphasis on ways we are similar, rather than on differences.
The bottom line is this: Treating others as you would like to be treated is still great advice. If you are a parent of a child with a disability, what would you like to add? How would you encourage parents to start the conversation?! I would love for you to share with me below, or message me back so we can keep the dialogue going!
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