The Power of Finding Your People: Why Every Special Needs Mom Deserves a Community and Respite
- Sara England
- Mar 20
- 4 min read
Last weekend, I did something I haven't ever done before—I went on a girls’ trip. In the past if I traveled, a lot of it was work related. But this wasn’t just any getaway; it was with a group of incredible women who share a deep, unspoken bond. We are all special needs moms.
For many of us, leaving our families, even for just a few days, was no small feat. The planning, the coordinating, the guilt—it all felt heavy. But as soon as we sat together, exhaled, and let the weight of our daily lives lift, I knew this time away was more than just a break. It was a necessity.
The Magic of Being Understood
There’s something profoundly refueling about being surrounded by women who truly get the journey you’re on. There was no need to explain ourselves, no need to soften the hard truths, and no guilt in admitting the exhaustion that comes with caregiving. We laughed, we vented, we encouraged each other. And in those moments, I felt lighter. So often, as special needs moms, we put ourselves last. We carry the mental and emotional load of advocating, caring, and constantly adjusting to the unexpected. But in that space, with my people, I was just me. Not just a mom, not just a caregiver—me. Discovering ME again as been a theme for me this year.
Why You Need to Find Your People
Whether it’s a local support group, an online community, or just a few close friends who understand your unique challenges, finding your people is a game-changer. Here’s why:
Shared experiences make you feel less alone. There’s an unspoken relief in knowing that someone else understands your struggles without needing an explanation.
You can be honest without guilt. In a safe space, you can say the hard things without judgment—things you might not be able to say to friends who don’t live this reality.
Encouragement feels different when it’s from someone who’s walked in your shoes. There’s a different kind of reassurance that comes from a fellow special needs mom telling you, You are doing an amazing job.
You need a place where you can just be you. Not just a caregiver, not just an advocate, but you—the woman behind all the roles you play.
Giving Yourself Permission to Step Away
As I was booking this trip, I really got emotional and my husband was the one to say, you deserve this. I don't know why I needed to hear that, but sometimes we just need that verbal okay from our spouse that says "I got this, go take the trip". What I have learned is that taking time for yourself doesn’t mean you love your child any less. It doesn’t mean you’re failing or selfish. It means you’re human. Respite, whether it’s a weekend away or just a few hours of recharging, is not a luxury—for parents like us, it’s essential.
Here’s why respite matters:
It prevents burnout, allowing you to return to your family with more patience and energy.
It helps you reconnect with yourself, which makes you a better mom in the long run.
It reminds you that your needs matter too.
How to Find Your People
If you don’t already have a support system, here are some ways to find it:
Join a local or online special needs parenting group. Facebook, Instagram, and even local hospitals often have groups where moms connect. I met all the moms I met up with online. Which isn't that crazy anymore- all of us met many years ago because of our sons all having Down Syndrome! There are support groups out there, you just have to look for them!
Start with one person. If the idea of a big group is overwhelming, find one mom in a similar situation and build from there. You don't need a big village, you just need someone else who gets it!
Prioritize a break. Even if it’s just a coffee date or an hour at the park alone, start small and build up to bigger breaks. Make it an appointment in your calendar and keep that promise to yourself!
Ask for help. Sometimes, all it takes is reaching out to family, friends, or respite services to make time for yourself. This is so hard and something that doesn't come easy for a lot of us, but it is worth it! There's no award for doing it all, so ask for help!
You Deserve This
I came home from that trip feeling full—full of peace, energy, and the strength to keep going. It reminded me that I don’t have to do this alone, and neither do you. Find your people. Make the time. Give yourself permission to step away when you need to.
Because when you do, you’ll come back stronger, happier, and more capable of continuing this incredible journey with your child.
And that is a gift not just for you, but for your family too! Xo, Sara special needs mom support, caregiver burnout relief, respite for special needs moms, finding your support system, special needs parenting tips, mom mental health, community for special needs moms, self-care for caregivers, emotional support for moms, special needs advocacy
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